Gender Differences in Personality

Gender Differences in Personality With relevant theory and research evidence, critically discuss the view that there are gender differences in personality One’s sex, or biological reproductive chances, can be seen as a discrete component to one’s gender, or their psychological perception of themselves used for identification (Phares, 1991). These perceptions of gender differences can be extremely influential from an early age, as seen in Rubin, Provenzano and Luria (1974) study examining the gender-role stereotype labels parents place on their children from a young age. Girls were described as ‘cute’ or ‘sweet’ whereas boys were described as ‘stronger’, both gender specific traits, even though the babies were almost identical in weight, height and activity. Gender differences can be predominantly seen in personality and have been apparent since ancient civilizations. Monuments would depict essentially feminine or masculine characteristics, females were originally viewed as ‘incomplete’ or imperfect males, and these ideologies persisted for years with reinforcement from p hilosophers such as Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas (Friedman Schustack, 2009). Personality, defined by Holt (2012), is the ‘distinct and enduring way in which we perceive and behave in life situations’. The view of differences in personality gender traits can confirm the defined enduring nature, with the female assuming an expressive role, directed towards nurturing and caring tendencies. The male takes on an instrumental role, exerting dominance and competitiveness (Parsons, 1955). However, it is reasonable to question and explore how these gender differences can be measured, the theories behind them and whether female and male traits can really be distinguished into two separate categories in today’s society. The Five Factor Model (McCrae and Costa, 2003) is a trait approach that has attempted to identify and measure gender personality traits. They distinguish women as scoring higher in neuroticism and agreeableness, whereas men scored higher on some aspects of openness and extraversion, such as openness to ideas and excitement seeking. However neither gender scored significantly on conscientiousness (Chapman, Duberstein, SÃ ¶rensen Lyness, 2007). Other trait approaches have endeavoured to classify masculine and feminine traits as multi-dimensional and overlapping. For example the Bem Sex Role Inventory classifies individuals to feminine, masculine, undifferentiated and androgynous (expressing both female and male traits) categories (Bem, 1974). Sexual behaviour and emotion has also been studied to a great extent to help further differentiate between gender differences in personality. Schmitt, Shackelford and Buss (2001) stated that men prefer short-term sexual relations with many partn ers, compared to women who prefer one stable partner over a long period of time. This can be seen in Clark and Hatfield (1989) findings where 3 out of 4 male students would enthusiastically agree to a one night stand compared to none of the women accepting the offer. Holt et al (2012) also state that when looking for a partner, men would seek a younger woman, whereas women prefer older and ‘well to do’ men. These are all gender specific differences in personality that can be explained by gender difference theories. Firstly, biological effects on sex have been suggested to have a major influence on gender personality and behaviour. In terms of genetic influence, the prenatal stage of foetus development can be manipulated to affect gender-specific traits when born, such as higher levels of aggression. Parsons (1980) exposed animal male and female embryos to androgens, the male hormone, during early prenatal development. After birth, both sexes produced higher levels of aggressive play compared to animals not exposed, which suggests the presence of male hormones had an influence on the physical development and personality of the foetus. This supports the idea that aggression can be seen to be predominantly a ‘male trait’ in Reinisch and Sanders (1986) findings. Male and female participants were asked to rate themselves on their physical and verbal aggression. Even though both sexes reported similar verbal aggression, males reported much higher demonstrations of physical aggression. Ho wever, this is not always the case, as Feshbach (1969) work describes, females largely exclude and reject newcomers compared to males, which is a form of indirect aggression, suggesting the cognitive intent of the aggression presented by females may be further internalised, compared to the outward aggressive display be males. This biological view to gender differences in personality can be related to the evolutionary perspective that males and females are genetically adapted for successful reproduction and preservation of their genes. Evolutionary pressures led to natural selection that created fundamentally different gender roles to promote survival (Shaffer, 2009). Males needed to seek as many partners as possible to ‘spread’ their gene, whilst females needed to avoid wasting their short reproductive opportunities by finding a mate that will protect and provide. This in turn created the gender roles seen today including masculine traits in their personality such as co mpetitiveness, assertiveness and aggression, compared to feminine traits such as nurturing, kindness and gentleness (Geary, 1999). Furthermore, Buss (1995) describes male superiority in visual spatial performance as skills gained from natural selection due to their advantage for hunting, killing and providing for the family. The evolutionary theory can be seen in sex differences in the personality trait jealousy, for example Buss, Larsen, Western and Semmelroth (1992) found that men portray more jealousy over the idea of their partner sleeping with another male, compared to women who present more jealousy over the idea of their partner being in love with another woman. Males don’t want the risk of providing resources for a child that may not be theirs, whilst women don’t want their mate to abandon them and leave them with nothing. However, these evolutionary differences in gender personality are not always consistent. Buss (2003) found that some women instead like to e ngage in casual sex with multiple partners because experience has resulted in securing better genes and better resources. This consistency between both sexes therefore leads to question whether females and males really do have specific differences, and suggests socialisation and learned experiences may have more of an impact on gender differences than biology. The Behaviourist approach to gender differences suggests that social learning has created gender-typed personality characteristics. Through operant learning, modelling, observation and classical learning, children develop gender- typed traits that can be used for identification and as a primary socialiser (Bandura Bussey, 2004). For example Henley (1977) describes operant conditioning in a little girl called jenny. Her mother tells jenny off for dirtying her party clothes, and praises her for showing passive and gentle characteristics, which are all reinforcements. Moreover, Peters father wrestles with peter, watches football games with him and promotes more aggressive behaviour, teaching and confirming to peter that these are the traits a male should portray. Repetti (1984) further explains how these gender traits are reflected in the types of toys children are given to play with. Girls were found to be given female orientated toys such as dolls, whereas boys were given masculine t oys such as cars or guns, reflecting the gender-typed personality traits. Also, Maccoby and Wilson (1957) studied the orientation towards same-sex role models in children. They found after the children had watched a film presenting interactions between opposite sex characters, the children recalled more information about the character that mirrored their own sex. The children’s memories had a ‘sex-linked’ quality. However, it could be suggested that socialisation is not a successful theory in determining gender differences in personality. Friedman and Schustack (2009) describe the David Reimer case, where a child, who was born a boy, was brought up and socialised to be a girl after a circumcision went wrong. David was given hormones and was taught to be caring, nurturing and take on a feminine role. However when David reached his teenage year he returned to his male identity, after what he described as an unhappy and ‘misleading’ childhood. Money and Ehrhardt (1972) insist that socialisation is still primary to gender assignment, as their research findings of androgenized girls suggest that before 18 months of age, it is possible to bring up a child as the opposite gender because the child hasn’t ‘internalised’ the gender at that age. However ‘failure’ to correctly socialise gender can still be seen today. Friedman Schucstack (2009) outline Dr. Joan Roughgarden case. She was born a boy and lived 52 years of her life as one. She was socialised to be masculine and had the biological make up of a boy, despite always seeing herself as a girl, and consequently ended up having a sex change. These findings suggest that human gender personality cannot solely be reliant on socialisation, however they do suggest that there still are differences within gender traits and socialisation advocates what traits each gender ‘should’ portray. The significance of different gender traits in gender socialisation is part of the explanation for gender schemas incorporated in the cognitive approach to gender differences. The gender schema theory suggests that culture and socialisation provide organised mental structures that help understanding of the way in which a male or female should behave and think (Bem, 1981). Gender schemas act as cognitive filters to help humans depict gender relevant material, and to use it in everyday life. For example Deaux and Major (1987) describe these cognitive filters being activated by each gender as females enter a beauty salon and males enter a car repair shop. Again, gender differences can be seen to be realistic and apparent. Nevertheless, the theories above do not explain concisely why there are female and male traits in personality. An Integrative theory could be used to see how biology, social-learning and cognitive developmental can overlap and contribute equally to gender differences. This theory suggests that different processes are important at different stages of development. As Halpern (1997) suggests, the prenatal stage consists of biological gender processes developing physically. Birth to three years consists largely of social learning about gender differences and gender schema comes in at three to six years of age. This theory shows a dynamic and interpretive way in which gender traits can be developed and distinguished. On the other hand, all these theories do not take in to account cross cultural differences, individual findings and the growing concept that gender differences all together may be disappearing. Sue and Sue (1999) suggest that African American families, compared to white American families, are observed to be matriarchal, where the mother of the family is the head decision maker. These findings suggest that what would be considered as ‘masculine’ traits can be seen presented in women. Mead (1935) observed differences between two New Guinea people, where in one group, both sexes would display certain considered ‘female traits’ of nurturing and caring, and both sexes of the other group would display certain male trait characteristics such as aggressiveness. These trait findings are opposite to what would be expected to be found in western culture and can suggest that gender traits are not as specific and defined as first thought. Research also suggests that soci al-class can affect the flexibility and ‘acceptable’ gender traits presented by men and women. For example Shaffer (2009) states that people from middle-class background have overall more acceptable views of gender trait presentation in men and women. They may feel more flexible to the idea of a male demonstrating a nurturing role, and a woman being the sole bread winner of the family, than working-class people. This can be seen as a typically modern idea, and can suggest that women and male gender personality traits are swapping, in terms of the roles they take on. This can therefore suggest that male and female gender personality traits are not so specific, but are only presented by the certain sex at certain times. This idea can be seen in Weisner and Wilson-Mitchell (1990) study where children raised in ‘countercultural’ homes, instead of traditionally at home with a mother and father, are seen to present an equal amount of male and female traits, and a re less gender-stereotyped. However, these children are still very aware of the traditional gender traits and the differences between them. Finally, this is not to suggest that cultural differences don’t mirror typical western views of gender trait differences. Williams and best (1990) carried out a longitudinal study over 30 different countries were they found overlapping traits most common found in both women and men, such as aggression and nurturing tendencies. Overall, gender differences in personality are both clearly affected by biological and behavioural influences. Males are born with an evolutionary inclination to behave aggressively, and this behaviour is encouraged by socialisation from parents and other role models. This can be seen in female evolutionary inclinations to nurture and protect their children, and socialisation such as being encouraged to play with dolls and care for them promotes these gender traits. Generally, gender traits in personality present more similarities between females and males than they do differences, but this does not mean they do not exist and are not portrayed differently over cultures and social classes. The way gender traits in personality are measured can determine to what extent male and females differ, but with modern ideas becoming the forefront of gender trait presentation, the distinguishing of gender differences in personality may be swapping over, becoming narrower, and becoming far less de fined.

The Golden Lily Chapter 24

BECAUSE THIS DAY couldn't get any weirder, I decided to stop by Adrian's. There was something I was dying to know but hadn't had a chance to ask. He opened the door when I knocked, a paintbrush in hand. â€Å"Oh,† he said. â€Å"Unexpected.† â€Å"Am I interrupting anything?† â€Å"Just homework.† He stepped aside to let me in. â€Å"Don't worry. It's not the crisis for me that it would be for you.† I entered the living room and was happy to see it filled with canvases and easels once again. â€Å"You've got your art studio back.† â€Å"Yup.† He set the brush down and wiped his hands on a rag. â€Å"Now that this place is no longer research central, I can return it to its normal artistic state.† He leaned against the back of the plaid sofa and watched me as I strolled from canvas to canvas. One of them gave me pause. â€Å"What's this? It looks like a lily.† â€Å"It is,† he said. â€Å"No offense, but this lily is kind of more badass than yours. If the Alchemists want to buy the rights to this and start using it, I'm willing to negotiate.† â€Å"Noted,† I said. I was still smiling from Brayden's breakup, and this only added to my good mood. Although, admittedly, the painting kind of lost me a little – as the abstract nature of his art often did. The lily, despite being more stylized and â€Å"badass† than the prim one on my cheek, was still clearly identifiable. It was even done in gold paint. Splashes of free-form scarlet paint surrounded it, and around the red was an almost crystalline pattern in ice blue. It was striking, but if there was some deeper meaning, it was beyond me. â€Å"You're in an awfully good mood,† he observed. â€Å"Was there a sale at Khakis-R-Us?† I gave up on my artistic interpretation and turned to him. â€Å"Nope. Brayden broke up with me.† Adrian's smirk faded. â€Å"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry. Are you†¦ I mean, do you need a drink? Do you need to, uh, cry or anything?† I laughed. â€Å"No. Weirdly, I'm fine. It really doesn't bother me at all. But it should, right? Maybe there's something wrong with me.† Adrian's green eyes weighed me. â€Å"I don't think so. Not every breakup is a tragedy. Still†¦ you might be due for some kind of comfort.† He straightened and walked over to the kitchen. Puzzled, I watched as he pulled something from the freezer and rifled through his silverware drawer. He returned to the living room and presented me with a pint of pomegranate gelato and a spoon. â€Å"What's this for?† I asked, accepting the offering out of shock alone. â€Å"For you, obviously. You wanted pomegranate, right?† I thought back to the night at the Italian restaurant. â€Å"Well, yeah†¦ but you didn't need to do this†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Well, you wanted it,† he said reasonably. â€Å"That, and a deal's a deal.† â€Å"What deal?† â€Å"Remember when you said you'd drink a regular can of pop if I didn't smoke for a day? Well, I calculated the calories, and that's the same as a serving of this. If you can believe there are four servings in that tiny thing.† I nearly dropped the gelato. â€Å"You†¦ you went a day without smoking?† â€Å"Almost a week, actually,† he said. â€Å"So you can eat the whole thing if you want.† â€Å"Why on earth would you do that?† I asked. He shrugged. â€Å"Hey, you laid out the challenge. Besides, smoking's an unhealthy habit, right?† â€Å"Right†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I was still stunned. â€Å"Eat up. It's going to melt.† I handed the gelato back. â€Å"I can't. Not with you watching. It's too weird. Can I eat it later?† â€Å"Sure,† he said, returning it to the freezer. â€Å"If you'll really eat it. I know how you are.† I crossed my arms as he stood opposite me. â€Å"Oh?† He fixed me with a disconcertingly hard look. â€Å"Maybe everyone else thinks your aversion to food is cute – but not me. I've watched you watch Jill. Here's some tough love: you will never, ever have her body. Ever. It's impossible. She's Moroi. You're human. That's biology. You have a great one, one that most humans would kill for – and you'd look even better if you put on a little weight. Five pounds would be a good start. Hide the ribs. Get a bigger bra size.† â€Å"Adrian!† I was aghast. â€Å"You†¦ are you out of your mind? You have no right to tell me that! None at all.† He scoffed. â€Å"I have every right, Sage. I'm your friend, and no one else is going to do it. Besides, I'm the king of unhealthy habits. Do you think I don't know one when I see it? I don't know where this came from – your family, too many Moroi, or just your own OCD nature – but I'm telling you, you don't have to do it.† â€Å"So this is some kind of intervention.† â€Å"This is the truth,† he said simply. â€Å"From someone who cares and wants your body to be as healthy and amazing as your mind.† â€Å"I'm not listening to this,† I said, turning away. A mix of emotions churned in me. Anger. Outrage. And weirdly, a little relief. â€Å"I'm going. I never should have come by.† His hand on my shoulder stopped me. â€Å"Wait†¦ listen to me.† Reluctantly, I turned. His expression was still stern, but his voice had softened. â€Å"I'm not trying to be mean. You're the last person I want to hurt†¦ but I don't want you hurting yourself either. You can ignore everything I just said, but I had to get it out, okay? I won't mention it again. You're the one in control of your life.† I looked away and blinked back tears. â€Å"Thanks,† I said. I should have been happy he was going to back off. Instead, there was an ache inside me, like he'd torn something open that I was trying to ignore and keep shut away. An ugly truth I didn't want to admit to myself, which I knew was hypocritical for someone who claimed to deal in facts and data. And whether I wanted to agree with him or not, I knew without a doubt he was right about one thing: no one else would've told me what he just had. â€Å"Why did you come by anyway?† he asked. â€Å"You sure you don't want to make my awesome painting the new Alchemist logo?† I couldn't help a small laugh. I looked back up at him, willing to help him with the abrupt change in subject. â€Å"No. Something much more serious.† He looked relieved at my smile and gave me one of his smirky ones in return. â€Å"Must be really serious.† â€Å"That night at the compound. How did you know how to drive the Mustang?† His smile vanished. â€Å"Because you did,† I said. â€Å"You drove it without any hesitation. As good as I could have. I started to wonder if maybe someone else had been showing you how to do it. But even if you'd had lessons every day since you got the car, you couldn't have driven like that. You shifted like you've been driving manual your whole life.† Adrian turned abruptly away and walked to the opposite side of the living room. â€Å"Maybe I'm a natural,† he said, not looking at me. It was funny how quickly the tables had turned. One minute he had me backed into a corner, forcing me to face issues I didn't want. Now it was my turn. I followed him over to the window and made him meet my gaze. â€Å"I'm right, aren't I?† I pushed. â€Å"You've been driving one your whole life!† â€Å"Not even Moroi give licenses to infants, Sage,† he said wryly. â€Å"Don't dodge this. You know what I mean. You've known how to drive stick for years.† His silence answered for him, telling me I was right, even if his face was hard to read. â€Å"Why?† I demanded. Now I was nearly pleading. Everyone said I was so exceptionally smart, I could string random things together and make remarkable conclusions. But this was beyond me, and I couldn't handle something that made so little sense. â€Å"Why would you do that? Why would you act like you didn't know how to drive?† A million thoughts seemed to cross his mind, none of which he wanted to share. At last, he shook his head in exasperation. â€Å"Isn't it obvious, Sage? No, of course it isn't. I did it so I'd have a reason to be around you – one I knew you couldn't refuse.† I was more confused than ever. â€Å"But†¦ why? Why would you want to do that?† â€Å"Why?† he asked. â€Å"Because it was the closest I could get to doing this.† He reached out and pulled me to him, one hand on my waist and the other behind my neck. He tipped my head up and lowered his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. I was nothing. I was everything. Chills ran over my skin, and fire burned inside me. His body pressed closer to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Mine responded hungrily, and I tightened my hold on him. His fingers slid down the back of my neck, tracing its shape, and every place they touched was electric. But perhaps the best part of all was that I, Sydney Katherine Sage, guilty of constantly analyzing the world around me, well, I stopped thinking. And it was glorious. At least, it was until I started thinking again. My mind and all its worries and considerations suddenly took over. I pulled away from Adrian, despite my body's protests. I backed up from him, knowing my eyes were terrified and wide. â€Å"What†¦ what are you doing?† â€Å"I don't know,† he said with a grin. He took a step toward me. â€Å"But I'm pretty sure you were doing it too.† â€Å"No. No. Don't get any closer! You can't do that again. Do you understand? We can't ever†¦ we shouldn't have†¦ oh my God. No. Never again. That was wrong.† I put my fingers to my lips, as though I would wipe away what had just happened, but mostly I was reminded again of the sweetness and heat of his mouth against mine. I promptly dropped my hand. â€Å"Wrong? I don't know, Sage. Honestly, that was the most right thing that's happened to me in a while.† Nonetheless, he kept his distance. I shook my head frantically. â€Å"How can you say that? You know how it is! There's no†¦ well, you know. Humans and vampires can't†¦ no. There can't be anything between them. Between us.† â€Å"Well, there had to have been at one point,† he said, attempting a reasonable tone. â€Å"Or there wouldn't be dhampirs today. Besides, what about the Keepers?† â€Å"The Keepers?† I nearly laughed, but no part of this was funny. â€Å"The Keepers live in caves and wage campfire battles over possum stew. If you want to go live that life, you're more than welcome to. If you want to live in the civilized world with the rest of us, then do not touch me again. And what about Rose? Aren't you madly in love with her?† Adrian looked way too calm for this situation. â€Å"Maybe I was once. But it's been†¦ what, nearly three months? And honestly, I haven't thought much about her in a while. Yeah, I'm still hurt and feel kind of used, but†¦ really, she's not the one I'm always thinking about anymore. I don't see her face when I go to sleep. I don't wonder about – â€Å" â€Å"No!† I backed up even further. â€Å"I don't want to hear this. I'm not going to listen to any more.† With a few swift steps, Adrian stood in front of me again. The wall was only a couple inches behind me, and I had nowhere to go. He made no threatening moves, but he did clasp my hands and hold them to his chest while leaning down to me. â€Å"No, you will listen. For once, you're going to hear something that doesn't fit into your neat, compartmentalized world of order and logic and reason. Because this isn't reasonable. If you're terrified, believe me – this scares the hell out of me, too. You asked about Rose? I tried to be a better person for her – but it was to impress her, to get her to want me. But when I'm around you, I want to be better because†¦ well, because it feels right. Because I want to. You make me want to become something greater than myself. I want to excel. You inspire me in every act, every word, every glance. I look at you, and you're like†¦ like light made into flesh. I said it on Halloween and meant every word: you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth. And you don't even know it. You have no clue how beautiful you are or how brightly you shine.† I knew I needed to break away, to jerk my hands from his. But I couldn't. Not yet. â€Å"Adrian – â€Å" â€Å"And I know, Sage,† he continued, his eyes filled with fire. â€Å"I know how you guys feel about us. I'm not stupid, and believe me, I've tried to get you out of my head. But there isn't enough liquor or art or any other distraction in the world to do it. I had to stop going to Wolfe's because it was too hard being that close to you, even if it was all just pretend fighting. I couldn't stand the touching. It was agonizing because it meant something to me – and I knew it meant nothing to you. I kept telling myself to stay away altogether, and then I'd find excuses†¦ like the car†¦ anything to be around you again. Hayden was an asshole, but at least as long as you were involved with him, I had a reason to keep my distance.† Adrian was still holding my hands, his face eager and panicked and desperate as he spilled his heart before me. My own heart was beating uncontrollably, and any number of emotions could have been to blame. He had that distracted, enraptured look†¦ the one that he held when spirit seized him and made him ramble. I prayed that's what this was, some spirit-induced fit of insanity. It had to be. Right? â€Å"His name is Brayden,† I said at last. Slowly, I was able to quiet my anxiety and gain some control. â€Å"And even without him, you have a million reasons to keep your distance. You say you know how we feel. But do you? Do you really?† I pulled my hands from his and pointed at my cheek. â€Å"Do you know what the golden lily truly means? It's a promise, a vow to a lifestyle and a belief system. You can't throw something like that away. This won't let me, even if I wanted to. And truthfully, I don't want to! I believe in what we do.† Adrian regarded me levelly. He didn't try to take my hands again, but he didn't back away either. My hands felt painfully empty without his. â€Å"This ‘lifestyle' and ‘belief system' you're defending have used you and keep using you. They treat you like a piece in a machine, one that's not allowed to think – and you're better than that.† â€Å"Some parts of the system are flawed,† I admitted. â€Å"But the principles are sound, and I believe in them. There's a divide between humans and vampires – between you and me – that can never be breached. We're too different. We're not meant to be†¦ like this. Like anything.† â€Å"None of us are meant to be or do anything,† he said. â€Å"We decide what we're going to be. You told me once that there are no victims here, that we all have the power to choose what we want.† â€Å"Don't try to use my own words against me,† I warned. â€Å"Why?† he asked, a slight smile on his lips. â€Å"They were damned good ones. You're not a victim. You're not a captive to that lily. You can be what you want. You can choose what you want.† â€Å"You're right.† I slipped away, finding no resistance from him at all. â€Å"And I don't choose you. That's what you're missing in all of this.† Adrian stilled. His smile dropped. â€Å"I don't believe you.† I scoffed. â€Å"Let me guess. Because I kissed you back?† That kiss had made me feel more alive than I had in weeks, and I had a feeling he knew that. He shook his head. â€Å"No. Because there's no one else out there who understands you like I do.† I waited for more. â€Å"That's it? You're not going to elaborate on what that means?† Those green eyes held me. â€Å"I don't think I need to.† I had to look away, though I was unsure why. â€Å"If you know me so well, then you'll understand why I'm leaving.† â€Å"Sydney – â€Å" I moved quickly toward the door. â€Å"Goodbye, Adrian.† I hurried toward the door, half-afraid he'd try to hold me again. If he did, I wasn't sure I could leave. But no touch came. No effort at all was made to stop me. It wasn't until I was halfway out on the lawn in front of his building that I dared a peek back. Adrian stood there leaning against the doorframe, watching me with his heart in his eyes. In my chest, my own heart was breaking. On my cheek, the lily reminded me who I was. I turned from him and walked away, refusing to look back.

Storm Born Chapter Thirteen

â€Å"You're late,† I told him, trying to act like my robe wasn't lying out on the hallway floor. He glanced around, and I couldn't help a small breath of pleasure. Every ounce of him was charged and ready, that muscled body in a fighter's stance. His dark eyes held a hard, savage expression as he assessed for threats. He was magnificent. He looked as though he could have single-handedly torn apart an army then and there. I wrapped my arms around myself, from neither coldness nor modesty. â€Å"I was walking up your driveway and felt something†¦something dark.† His body relaxed, the animal fierceness in his eyes replaced by that smoky sensuality as he seemed to notice for the first time that I was naked. â€Å"A Gray Man. He had to go keep an appointment with Persephone.† Kiyo's lips twitched into a smile. â€Å"Were you in the shower?† â€Å"Sauna. I impaled him with a mirror.† â€Å"Nice.† We stared at each other, a thick tension building up in the air between us. â€Å"Well,† I said finally. â€Å"Thanks for checking in. You can leave now.† â€Å"Eugenie – â€Å" My confusion and lust took their rightful backseat to my indignation. â€Å"I have nothing to say to you. I don't want to say anything to you. Get out.† â€Å"Not until I've explained everything.† â€Å"Like what? How you wanted to get me pregnant, just like everyone else?† He blinked, clearly surprised. â€Å"I – what? No. Of course not. For Christ's sake, I used a condom.† â€Å"Yeah, I know. I was there.† I could hear the irrational sulkiness in my voice. â€Å"Why else would you have done it, then?† His eyes traveled from my face down my entire body, and then back to my face. â€Å"Why do you think?† I swallowed, attempting to ignore the warmth left from where his gaze had touched me. â€Å"Okay. I get the mechanics of it. But you can't sit there and tell me you being in that bar was a coincidence.† â€Å"No. It wasn't,† he said simply. I waited for more. â€Å"That's it?† He sighed and leaned against the wall. â€Å"I was asked by a friend to find you and mark you so we could keep track of you. I didn't know why; I had no idea who you were at the time.† â€Å"What? Someone told you to sleep with me?† â€Å"Er, no. That was my own, um, improvisation. I could have marked you other ways.† He smiled meaningfully. â€Å"But you were too charming and pretty.† â€Å"Hey! Don't use that fox sex magic on me. It's already caused enough trouble. Who told you to do that? To mark me?† The flirtatious smile disappeared. Silence. â€Å"Look, you're supposed to be the big honesty advocate. If you aren't going to play that way anymore, then I'm going to kick your ass out of here.† A glint of amusement flickered in his eyes. â€Å"I think I'd like that.† He paused. Finally: â€Å"No one you know. Her name is Maiwenn.† â€Å"The Willow Queen.† I took satisfaction in seeing his surprise. â€Å"I know more about the gentry than you think.† â€Å"Apparently. When she found out who you were, she wanted to watch you and find out where you stood on your fath – on the Storm King prophecy.† I met his questioning look with incredulity. â€Å"Are you seriously asking me? You think I want to see gentry take over the world?† â€Å"No, not really. But Maiwenn wanted to be sure on your position. She opposed Storm King before and has no desire to see an invasion. She'd rather put resources into the Otherworld, into staying there and making that home.† â€Å"Smart lady,† I said bitterly. â€Å"I wish they'd all stay there.† â€Å"Don't knock the Otherworld. It has its appeal.† â€Å"Yeah? So, what, you consider yourself one of them?† â€Å"I consider myself part of both worlds. It's who I am. It's who you are too.† â€Å"No. I'm not part of that world.† I stared past him without really seeing, suddenly feeling tired. â€Å"Sometimes I don't even feel a part of this world.† He crossed the distance between us and sat down on the bed. Those dark eyes brimmed with concern. â€Å"Don't say that.† I looked away so he wouldn't see my eyes getting wet. â€Å"I don't know what's going on anymore. Everything†¦everything's changed. I can't turn around without someone trying to rape me. I can't trust the people I love.† I turned back to him. â€Å"I can't trust you.† His hand reached out and touched my cheek. â€Å"Yes, you can. Eugenie, I didn't sleep with you to get you pregnant. I didn't even sleep with you just because you're hot – though that was a definite perk. I liked you. I still like you. I want us to have something.† He'd moved his hand down my neck, to my shoulder, and then to my upper arm. His fingers lazily traced the outline of Hecate's snake. Goosebumps rose on my flesh. â€Å"Don't look at me like that. I don't want to get pregnant.† â€Å"Contraceptive technology is a wonderful thing.† â€Å"I can't be involved with you.† â€Å"Why not?† The words hurt coming out. â€Å"Because†¦because of what you are†¦Ã¢â‚¬  The hand dropped. â€Å"I'm the same – â€Å" â€Å"I know, I know. The same as me. Kiyo, you've got to understand†¦. I've got a lot to deal with right now. I just†¦well, I just can't. Not yet. Maybe†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I looked at him, at the kind and intelligent face, at the smoldering body so close to mine. â€Å"Maybe some day, we can†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Something on my face must have given away my feelings, that no matter how terrified of getting close to him I was, I still liked him and wanted him. The old mischievous smile appeared on his face, and his hand cupped my chin. He pressed his lips against my cheek. â€Å"Then let me be your friend,† he whispered. I closed my eyes and let his heat envelop me. â€Å"Friends don't breathe in my ear like that.† â€Å"We'll be special friends.† â€Å"Kiyo – â€Å" He drew back a little, still smiling. â€Å"Seriously, Eugenie. If we can't be lovers, I still want to be in your life. I want to help you through this. I want to protect you.† I stiffened, and my old snarkiness reared its head through the emotional miasma. â€Å"I don't need protection.† â€Å"Do you have any idea how bad it's going to get for you?† â€Å"I've handled it so far. I'll handle it again.† â€Å"God, you're amazing.† His spoke with admiration. â€Å"But you're also annoyingly difficult. Let someone help you. Let me help you.† I stared stonily ahead. His expression darkened. â€Å"They're going to come after you! Do you think I can just sit around when people are trying to hurt and rape you?† The heat in his voice seared me. He wasn't angry at me; he was angry for me. He regarded me in a way no one had ever looked at me before, an expression that said I meant so much to him that he would take on hell itself to protect me. That intensity wrapped around me. It thrilled me. It scared me. I didn't know what to do with it. Again, he read my face. This time, he pulled me over, crushing my body against his. I didn't fight it. â€Å"Let me help you,† he repeated. â€Å"How? You live an hour and a half away.† He pressed his face against my hair. â€Å"I'll commute.† â€Å"Oh for God's – â€Å" â€Å"I mean it. I know I can't be with you all the time, but I'll do what I can.† â€Å"You're going to trail me like a bodyguard or something?† â€Å"I'll do it as a fox if it makes you feel better.† I laughed in spite of myself, tightening my hold on him. I knew we shouldn't be locked in this kind of embrace, but honestly†¦after everything that had happened, it was comforting. And a turn-on too. But mostly comforting. â€Å"What's that like anyway?† â€Å"What's what like?† â€Å"Being a fox. Is it weird?† â€Å"I don't know. I've always been that way. It's the only thing I know.† â€Å"Yeah, but†¦why not just stay human all the time?† â€Å"I'm stronger as a fox. Comes in handy in a fight.† â€Å"You're not too shabby as a human.† â€Å"Women think foxes are cute.† â€Å"Not that cute,† I grumbled. I could sense his smile. â€Å"It's a good way to let your instincts take over.† â€Å"Which instincts?† In one movement, he had me flipped onto my back. His hands held mine down while his body pressed against the rest of me. Those lips hovered a few breaths from mine. â€Å"All of them,† he growled. My breath was coming out in rapid bursts, and a voice in the back of my head was yelling, Hey! Remember how you don't want to be involved with Otherworldly people? I knew that voice was right, but it was kind of hard to pay attention when my body was melting against his and one of his hands had slid down to the side of a breast. â€Å"I don't think friends are supposed to lay like this.† â€Å"I know,† he said. â€Å"Or bodyguards.† â€Å"I know.† â€Å"Or veterinarians.† â€Å"That I disagree with.† He crushed his mouth to mine, and it was powerful and ravenous and furious and wonderful. I couldn't think or do anything coherent in that moment, only let him keep kissing me and kissing me. At last he broke away. He sat up, and I could see his body tremble. The look in his eyes was still hungry and yearning, and there was a visible struggle within him, a warring of two halves. One must have won, because he took a deep breath, and that animal need faded – slightly – from him. â€Å"I need to go,† he said at last. â€Å"I've got to work in two hours.† â€Å"Okay.† We stared at each other for a long time. I pulled a sheet up, letting it cover part of me. A grin lit his features. â€Å"Thanks. That helps.† He stood up and moved toward the door. â€Å"Hey, would you mind meeting Maiwenn? She wants to talk to you in person, see what you're like.† â€Å"You seem pretty chummy with her,† I said. The words came out sharper than I'd intended, but he looked unfazed. â€Å"She's a good friend. And I believe in her philosophies. She wants both our worlds left intact. So do I. She can be a good friend to you too.† â€Å"Is she strong enough to come over here?† He nodded. â€Å"If she'll do it, I'll meet her. I'm not really keen on going over there anytime soon.† â€Å"I'll tell her.† He took a few steps out the door, and this time I called to him. â€Å"Hey†¦Kiyo.† â€Å"Yeah?† â€Å"All these people and†¦things are coming after me because they think I'm going to be Damien's mother or something†¦but seriously, do you actually think any of it's true? Do you really believe this prophecy could happen? Roland – my stepdad – says prophecies are a dime a dozen in the Otherworld.† â€Å"They are,† Kiyo said slowly, a slight wrinkle between his eyes as he thought. â€Å"And most don't come true. But a lot do, a lot more than you'd think growing up here. The thing about prophecies is†¦well, people sometimes read the wrong things into them. Or, in trying to avert them, they only make the prophecy come true.† I shivered, half-wishing he would have just said prophecies were a bunch of crap. â€Å"You mean like Oedipus? How his father got rid of him to beat that prophecy?† â€Å"Exactly. Doing that only ended up making it happen.† Seeing my dark look, he smiled. â€Å"Hey, don't worry about it. I told you most don't come true. And besides, you're not trying to have kids, so there's nothing to worry about. Concentrate on the now.† I gave him a faltering smile back, hoping he was right. â€Å"Thanks.† He held my eyes for a few seconds before stepping out of the room, only to return a moment later with my burnt mirror. He set it on the dresser, regarding it with displeasure. â€Å"Sorry I wasn't here sooner.† â€Å"Hey,† I said, mustering some bravado, â€Å"I told you I can take care of myself.† Those dark eyes flashed. â€Å"I know. You're a dangerous woman.† I wasn't entirely sure if he referred to my fighting abilities or something else. When he was gone, I lay back in bed with a sigh, thinking I might not move for a week. Things just got weirder and weirder around here. Suddenly I felt a faint pressure build in the room. I sat up straight. Red eyes peered at me from a dim corner. â€Å"Volusian? I didn't summon you.† â€Å"You gave us permission to come if we acquired information.† â€Å"Yeah. I suppose I did. I didn't really think any of you would actually listen to me. What's up?† â€Å"I've come to tell you Otherworldly interest in you has increased.† I stared at him stupidly a moment, then pointed to the bloody athame I'd used on the Gray Man. â€Å"Gee, you think?† He shook his head. â€Å"More than these scattered attacks. Before, others were interested in you simply because of your heritage. Now, after seeing you†¦some are more excited still. They find you†¦attractive.† I could tell the concept baffled him. â€Å"Great. Now I'm fertile and hot. So what's this mean? Should I be expecting daily attacks?† â€Å"More like†¦organized attacks.† â€Å"Groups?† â€Å"Worse.† â€Å"Worse than a group of guys trying to have sex with me? How?† â€Å"For now, only creatures and gentry who can cross over in physical or elemental form will try. But we are weeks from Beltane, mistress. When the doors open†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Jesus,† I breathed. â€Å"Everything with a dick is going to come looking for me.† He didn't bother with a response. But when I said nothing more, he asked, â€Å"What will you do?† â€Å"What do you think? The same as I've been doing. I'll fight them off.† He stayed quiet, but I could feel his disapproval. â€Å"What else do you expect me to do? Submit?† â€Å"I expect you to not sit around and wait for the inevitable. You might as well be from one of the bride-by-capture societies. Always being on the defensive will get you nowhere; eventually someone will overpower you.† I laughed without really finding anything funny. â€Å"So, what, I go on the offensive? Head over and just start taking on random gentry and spirits?† â€Å"No. You start claiming your heritage. They attack you because you let them, because you kick at one and then wait for the next. You make yourself a victim, yet you are Storm King's daughter. In his day, his rule stretched farther than any of the current monarchs'. His kingdom may be gone now, but his legacy makes you royalty. If you acted like it, they wouldn't attack you so brazenly.† â€Å"I doubt they'd give up wanting to father Storm King's heir just because I started calling myself a queen or a princess.† â€Å"Oh, they'd still want you, but they would go about it differently. They'd approach you with respect. They would try to woo you. Now they only treat you with disdain. They treat you like the victim – the piece of flesh – that you have let yourself become.† I didn't really like the thought of a bunch of gentry bringing me flowers and chocolate, but I liked it better than rape. â€Å"Yeah, but joking aside, I can't just go in there and say, ‘Hey, I'm Storm King's daughter, treat me with respect.'† â€Å"Well,† he said dryly, â€Å"it would be a start. However, you will drive home your connection to him most when you stop relying on those.† He pointed at my weapons. â€Å"They make you human.† â€Å"I am human.† â€Å"You are half-human. If you want them to respect you as one of the gentry, you need to remind them of who you are. You need to draw on the power within you, on your father's legacy.† I thought about what Roland had said, about how he had purposely buried my power. Faint flickers of the vision came back to me, how I'd reached for power just before it ended. â€Å"No. I won't use gentry magic.† Volusian sighed. He pointed to the burnt mirror. â€Å"Mistress, why did you use that as a weapon?† â€Å"Because a Gray Man caught me unarmed.† â€Å"Had you been in full control of your magic, you would have needed no weapons. You could have destroyed him as soon as he crossed your threshold.† I tugged the sheet up and wrapped my arms around myself. The thought of power like that terrified me†¦and yet deep down, I saw its appeal. I didn't like being defenseless at twenty-six any more than I had at twelve. Volusian sensed this. â€Å"Your true nature knows I am right. It longs to be realized.† â€Å"If I give in to this nature, I'll become gentry.† â€Å"You'll never be fully gentry or human. That you must accept. You must simply take the best of each.† â€Å"Even if I wanted to do this† – I swallowed, still uncertain if I wanted the kind of power he was talking about – â€Å"I wouldn't know the first thing about tapping it. Roland can't teach me about gentry magic.† â€Å"Then you'll have to find a gentry teacher.† â€Å"Where will I find one who won't try to rape me first? I don't really have any friends over there.† â€Å"Don't you?† He looked at me expectantly. â€Å"You mean Dorian.† â€Å"Of all the rulers in the Otherworld right now, only he has ordered his people to leave you alone.† â€Å"Seriously? But why? He told me himself he wants to see Storm King's invasion happen.† â€Å"Most believe he gave the order simply because he wants you for himself. I, however, suspect he also probably acts out of some ridiculous sense of altruism – and his own pride. Of course, some of his people won't heed the warning, but you will find less of them attacking you than others. Like Aeson and his followers, for example.† Apparently Aeson was alive after all. I'd forgotten to ask Kiyo about that in the wake of all the other drama. â€Å"Still†¦Dorian made the attempt, huh?† I thought back to my encounter with him. Of all the gentry, he had been the one I almost felt comfortable with, which was startling, considering how odd he was. And he had helped me. â€Å"But I know he wants to have sex with me too. He didn't really make that a secret.† â€Å"Of course he does. Which is why he'll help you. He'll help you because he thinks it'll bring you to his bed. And because being close to you will impress his rivals and allies alike. They'll think you're lovers, even if you aren't. He'll like that.† You'll return to me. You won't be able to help yourself. I shivered, and Volusian continued: â€Å"You'll benefit as well. Go to him as an equal, and he will treat you as one. His attitude will go a long way to influence others.† â€Å"If I do this, I'll have come a long way from being feared by the gentry to cozying up with one for political reasons. That's quite a leap.† â€Å"Not really. Not if you consider how far you've come since your trip to Aeson's.† â€Å"That's an understatement.† I rubbed my eyes. â€Å"I don't know, Volusian. I still don't know if I'm ready to approach Dorian. I need to think about it.† â€Å"As my mistress wishes. But I would advise you to think fast. Decide before Beltane. Siding with Dorian will offer both magical and political benefits.† â€Å"Noted. Thanks for the update. And the advice.† He bowed, and I stood up to send him back. Before I did, I couldn't help messing with him. I was still naked, after all. â€Å"Hey, Volusian, you haven't been checking me out, have you?† He gave me his trademark bland stare. â€Å"I assure you, mistress, the only allure your bare flesh has for me is to remind me how easy it will be to slice open.† I laughed. If not for the fact he was actually serious, he'd be so much fun.

The History of Pornography